(Somehow my mom and I ended up talking about penises, I was trying to change subject.)
Me: Anyways how was-
Mom: Just so you know you're not allowed to marry a man with a small penis.
Mom: Yeah. I don't want any small penises messing up our family genes.
Mom: What? Do you really want me to tell you about your father's?
Me: No! No, No. No.
Mom: Cause he was huuuuge!
Me: Oh my God, mom!
Fake? Perhaps fake. It's hard to tell in this day and age. One thing's for sure, there's plenty more mobile lols and phone mishaps over at Autocowrecks!
(My date and I about to leave.)
Dad: Oh, and kids! Don't forget, stop teen pregnancy- take it in the ass!
Dad: What? I saw it online and thought it would come as great use to you.
Mum: Are you a lesbian? That would be gross.
Me: Didnt you tell me you dated a lesbian for six months?
Mum: Yes, but we never went beyond kissing. She wanted to stay virgin until married.
Dad: If you want to date, date somebody who's going to harass you, so I'll at least have an excuse when the police bring me into custody.
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