Me: *answers* This is road kill cafe you kill we grill it, this is Sam speaking!
Mom's boyfriend: *hangs up*
Mom: Why'd you do that!?
Me: Don't worry he'll be by to pick up his fried raccoon in an hour.
Mum: Are you a lesbian? That would be gross.
Me: Didnt you tell me you dated a lesbian for six months?
Mum: Yes, but we never went beyond kissing. She wanted to stay virgin until married.
Dad: If you want to date, date somebody who's going to harass you, so I'll at least have an excuse when the police bring me into custody.
(One afternoon, talking with my dad about first kisses.)
Me: So, your first kiss wasn't with mom?
Dad: No. It actually was with somebody VERY different from her.
Me: Yeah? And where was it?
Dad: Well, it was in school, between classes.
Me: Dad, I thought there were only guys in your school.
Dad: I DID say it was somebody different.
Fake? Perhaps fake. It's hard to tell in this day and age. One thing's for sure, there's plenty more mobile lols and phone mishaps over at Autocowrecks!
(My five year old son): Mom, I'm gay.
Me: Really? So you want to marry boys?
Son: No, I like girls.
Me: Sweetie, then you aren't gay. That means boys who love boys, and girls who love girls. You are heterosexual.
Son: Look mom, I just wanna be gay but marry a girl!
Me: ... Well I guess that's how some gay guys do it...
This Siberian Husky Is Anyone After A Few Too Many Edibles
15 Horribly Spaced Words
Your Independence Day Was Weak Compared to This Guy's and ...
Man Learns a Valuable Lesson in Firework and Butt Safety
Sometimes, When Headlines Are So Long That They Need to Be ...
Your Status Was Inspiring, But These Comments Make Much More ...
Presidential Candidate Bobby Jindal’s #AskBobby Hashtag Was ...
Truthful Tweets About Parenting
Former Middle School Classmates Share Emotional Reunion in ...
3-Year-Old Has a Pretty Firm Grasp on the Complexities of ...
Pick Your Site Name
Tell us more about it