(My dad in response to Tyler, the Creator's "Bitch Suck Dick")
Dad: Did he just say he's f**king a unicorn?
Me: Yes, yes he sure did
Dad: I don't blame him.... I'd f**k a unicorn, they're sexy as hell.
(My Dad and I at Burger King)
Dad: I want a whopper with extra bacon, I want a large fry, I want two cokes, and I want it delivered to my table by a Brazilian hooker.
Dad: YOU HEARD ME! I WANT TO HAVE IT MY WAY!
The Most Private Thing You're Willing to Admit...Is Terrible
10 of the Most Amazing Breakup Texts
Should We Call Rami the Pit Bull Dachshund a Weiner Bull?
The Truth Behind Justin Bieber's Calvin Klein Ad
The Future is Now: People Experience What it Would Be Like ...
You Can't Unsee This Side of Disney
I Need to Wear a Cat on My Head at All Times Now
The Duality of The Immune System
7 Signs You Shouldn't Be Together
Pick Your Site Name
Tell me more