Me: Mom, can I have a curfew?
Mom: You already have one.
Me: So, when is it?
Mom: I won't tell you.
Me: Then what's the point of a curfew?
Mom: So we can punish you when you break it.
Dad: How did work go today?
Me: (A daycare toddler teacher) The kids were rambunctious today.
Dad: Kick the little @#$!ers in the head enough, they'll calm down.
"Look Ma, No Pants!"
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