(Talking about my friend's dad being cooler)
Dad: Well does he play video games with you?
Dad: Does he watch porn with you?
Me: What? No why wo...
Dad: Come on, we are going to the video store.
(Walking my dog with my Mum, who noticed that there were loads of spider nests.)
Mum: Woah, those spiders are at it!
Mum: I wonder how they do it. I mean, where do all of the legs go?
Me: Mum, that's just creepy.
Mum: Spider Porn!
Dad: Remember, porn for free is sexuality. You need a profit before you can call it a profession.
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