(My little cousin wanted a dog, but we bought him a gerbil.)
Store Worker: which one do you like?
Cousin: The brown one with the big ears
Store Worker: *Hands it to him*
Me: What are you gonna name him?
(Me and mom making dinner, brother's ferret starts running around our feet):
Mom: Put him in the oven, will you...
Mom: Dammit, I meant cage. There's not enough meat on his bones yet. Now the dog...
The Doberman has to look good to, you know? That's how we hit the club, real talk.
(Meow from outside door)
Mom: I hear a kitty!
Mom: Wait, where's the kitty? Was there ever a kitty? Am I on drugs?
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