(Talking to my 9-year-old brother)
Me: Hey, do you know who is coming on Saturday night?
Mom: Your Dad, if he's lucky.
Dad: Don't go into the dark, the Boogie Man will get you.
Me: You're the Boogie man, and the Tooth Fairy, and Santa Claus, and the Easter Bunny
Dad: Don't talk about my sex life.
Me: So Mom, whats your New Year's resoloution?
Mom: (looks up slowly) New year..... New sexuality (goes back to TV)
(At a holiday gathering, a cheese plate is set out.)
Dad: Hey, honey, come here. Try this cheese.
Me: I don't really like blue cheese.
Dad: No, no, just try it.
Me: (Trying the cheese, disgusted.) Blugh, it tastes really weird. I don't like it.
Dad (pulls me aside): Your uncles and I all agree that that cheese tastes like our wives.
Mom: I wonder what I can get your Dad for Christmas.
Me(being silly): Your Mother!
Mom: He doesn't want THAT.
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