Mother: Don't quote what I say on facebook. Seriously, if you quote what I say you will sleep on the roof for three weeks. And you can quote me on that.
Mom: Hum the Star Spangled Banner
Mom: Well is it patriotic?
(I hum it for her)
Mom: Wait isn't that the national anthem? Is the Star Spangled Banner the national anthem?
Mom: Oh, I didn't know that. That's exactly what I want!
(My mom was talking to her self at the store)
Me: Mom who are you talking too?
Mom: Myself, I have to talk louder than the voices in my head.
(My mom, while looking at the price of caviar this year.)
Mom: WHAT?! you can get COCAINE cheaper than this!
Don't Lie Now!
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