Me: Talked to that guy.
Mom: Did you tell him you were available and easy?
Me: Um, what?
Mom: Well, it's been real. I'm going to bed. See you tomorrow!
See more fashion disasters at Poorly Dressed!
Me: Mom, I don't want to eat meat tonight. I just got done dissecting a pig.
Mom: What? You won't eat meat because of that?! What's going to happen if you go to medical school and dissect humans? Will you stop eating humans too?
Me: I just saw the coolest bumper sticker, it said "My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips".
Mom (totally seriously): That's not nice, I never try to make you feel guiltly, do I? It would really hurt my feelings if you think I did.
(In my Oma's kitchen talking about how much tile i put down while fixing the house. I'm female.)
Me: You see these hands?! These are the hands of a working man!
Oma: With a rack like that, I don't think you're much of a man.
Me: You knew what I meant!
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