(Me brushing my teeth)
(Gargling, Dad walks in holds my nose and says)
Me: (Spits everything on him)
Dad: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT! EVERYONE SWALLOWS IN THIS HOUSE!
Mom: That's right dear.
(Sister helping me with Chemistry in the front room when Mother grooves into the room, singing)
Mother: I am the queen of vagina, I am queen of promiscuous, I am queen of gen-
Me: Mum! What the futz?!
Mother: It's not everyday you find a song you relate to! Leave me alone! (continues singing)
(after a nasty bout of meds left me on the toilet for far too long)
Mom: It's exfoliating your colon!
(Me: *Skyping cute boy*)
Mom: *Barges into room* Who are you talking to?
Me: Travis, mum.
Mom: You better not be showing him your privates!
(My mom and I discussing school projects)
Me: Essay projects are one of the few school projects that I don't mind doing, since they're not a right answer-wrong answer sort of thing.
Mom: I actually like more solid foundations, like in math: 2 + 2 will always be 2... Wait a second...
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