(After fetching Gramma's mail):
Me: You got another funeral home ad.
Gramma: Again? I got 3 yesterday! Soon they'll be sending a loaded rifle and asking me to f***ing shoot myself!
(We were listening to the radio on the way to school, and a report came on saying how some old people ate brownies with pot.)
Me (referring to that 70's show): Haha magic brownies...
Mom: We could use those to send grandma to the other side...
(Recently after my grandfather's funeral.)
Family friend: I heard you buried your father.
Dad: Had to. Dead, you know?
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