(while cooking dinner one night) Me: Agh! I cut the tip of my finger! Mom: Well that sucks, hey do you think it will add flavor to the meat? Me: Uh no? Mom: Well dang, okay pass me some pepper.

(Dad got a deer this season and is processing it himself). Me: Ugh... There's body parts all inside the freezer. Mom: People are going to think we're John Wayne Gacy. Me: Didn't he have sex with the bodies first? Mom: You weren't there.