(Us at table eating tapioca. My uncle Ralph *has finished his but there is no more):
Uncle Ralph: Hey did you know semen is low calorie food? Five calories per go!
Me and Brothers: *Push away food* Eeeeeeeeew.
Uncle Ralph: Well if you're not gonna eat it....
(after a nasty bout of meds left me on the toilet for far too long)
Mom: It's exfoliating your colon!
Warning: It's a very. Very. Gross surprise.
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