(Going to visit my grandma, my little sister just walks in her house)
Me:(to my sister) Hey, learn to knock. What if grandma isn't dressed or has company?
Grandma: Yeah! What if I have company and we're naked?!
(My grandma thought it was totally appropriate to tell me about her first time with my now deceased grandpa.)
Grandma: I looked at that thing and I said "That'll NEVER fit!"
Me: *Awkward laugh* Oh hehe, that's pretty crazy!
Grandma: Say, why don't you ever bring your boyfriend over here to visit?
(maybe it's cause you tell gross sex stories.)
(My grandma and I walking past a group of guys playing tennis with their shirts off.)
Me: Oh I love tennis! I wish I could play with them.
Grandma: I want to play with them too, but I want to play a different game.
(I had wrapped a bottle of wine to give to my grandfather as a Christmas Present)
Me: Merry Christmas, Grandad!
Grandad: (without opening it) Oh, lovely! A jumbo size pack of condoms! Just what I needed!
Grandmother: That's an oddly shaped box of condoms...
Grandad: (pointing to his crotch) Hey, they haven't seen the shape of this yet!
(Talking with my grandmother about how hard it was raising kids in the 60's)
Me: Gramma? If it was so hard raising the first three, why did you keep having kids?
Gramma: Well, Joel... Me and your grandfather liked to have sex.
Me: ... (Image hasn't left my head to this day)
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