(17 yr old daughter on phone to Grandmother with me in same room.)
Daughter: Nana, do you have any AAA Batteries?
Me (yelling to be heard on phone): It's for her vibrator!
Nana (which daughter repeats to me): You need D size.
Me (which daughter repeats over phone): Speaking from experience?
Daughter: Ewww, must be true, Nana isn't saying anything!
(My grandma thought it was totally appropriate to tell me about her first time with my now deceased grandpa.)
Grandma: I looked at that thing and I said "That'll NEVER fit!"
Me: *Awkward laugh* Oh hehe, that's pretty crazy!
Grandma: Say, why don't you ever bring your boyfriend over here to visit?
(maybe it's cause you tell gross sex stories.)
(We were listening to the radio on the way to school, and a report came on saying how some old people ate brownies with pot.)
Me (referring to that 70's show): Haha magic brownies...
Mom: We could use those to send grandma to the other side...
(Talking with my grandmother about how hard it was raising kids in the 60's)
Me: Gramma? If it was so hard raising the first three, why did you keep having kids?
Gramma: Well, Joel... Me and your grandfather liked to have sex.
Me: ... (Image hasn't left my head to this day)
See more fashion disasters at Poorly Dressed!
(My mom and my grandma talking during dinner.)
Grandma: (talking about our dog) When I went for a drive with Jake in the back seat he just laid on the floor and cried.
Grandma: Yeah, he just laid down and started crying.
Mom: That's what I do every time I'm in a car with you driving.
(In the living room about 15 minutes before Thanksgiving Dinner with 20 family members and Grandma.)
Gram: I think somebody farted.
Younger Brother: You know what they say Gram, they who smelled it, dealt it.
Gram: (laughs) That's true.
Gram; No, I was wrong, somebody's crapped themselves.
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