(Grandma scolding me for having girlfriend's name tattooed on my arm.)
Grandma: You just wait until your grandfather sees it.
(Grandpa walks in the room and looks at tattoo.)
Grandpa: Oh... Wow, that looks way better then mine!
(There was a priest who visited my great-grandfather after my great-uncle died. He was looking at my great-grandfather's garden.)
Priest: Are those pansies out there?
Great-Grandfather: Can I tell you a secret?
Priest: Sure, that's what I'm here for.
Great-Grandfather: It's Hungarian marijuana.
(Recently after my grandfather's funeral.)
Family friend: I heard you buried your father.
Dad: Had to. Dead, you know?
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