The Shooting War has Begun

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Me: Im shooting daggars out of my eyes. Dad: Im shooting farts out of my ass. (A little while later,) When you're not home I'm going to fart on your pillow.
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The Cutest Lil' Bloodsport

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Look at 'em go! Little Van Damme's, the whole lot of them! And we even have them in GIF form thanks to the folks at I Hate My Parents:

Somehow the Two Events Must be Related...

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argument,detention,fight,kids,Parenting Fail,school,sibling rivalry,teacher
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For easier reading: One is an "Incident report" that disciplined another child for choking someone. The other is an "Accident report" about the other child being choked.