Me: Im shooting daggars out of my eyes.
Dad: Im shooting farts out of my ass.
(A little while later,)
When you're not home I'm going to fart on your pillow.
Look at 'em go! Little Van Damme's, the whole lot of them! And we even have them in GIF form thanks to the folks at I Hate My Parents:
For easier reading: One is an "Incident report" that disciplined another child for choking someone. The other is an "Accident report" about the other child being choked.
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