(Dad and sister talking about people who tame monkeys.)
Sister: How come there are always birds when people with monkeys are putting on a show?
Dad: That's because the monkey tamers tame the monkeys to teach the birds to swoop down low whilst you are looking at the monkeys are steal your stuff
(A while ago, when I was a young child.)
Me: What's plastic surgery?
Dad: It's when they take out your lungs and dip them in corn syrup.
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