(After watching an ad against drunk driving)
Dad: Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly!
Mom: Yeah, that's a good lesson to teach your sixteen year old daughter.
Dad: It's true! Don't make me throw my coffee mug at you.
One of the benefits of the Occupy Wall Street protests: Getting the boomerang generation off of the couch.
(There was a priest who visited my great-grandfather after my great-uncle died. He was looking at my great-grandfather's garden.)
Priest: Are those pansies out there?
Great-Grandfather: Can I tell you a secret?
Priest: Sure, that's what I'm here for.
Great-Grandfather: It's Hungarian marijuana.
Dad: I did alot of crazy things when I was a kid.
Me: Like what?
Dad: Well once I did a whole bunch of cocaine and threw a TV through a ten story window. Good thing you only do pot.
Me: I... I got nothin'...
(Mom had left for a business trip and it was just dad and I by ourselves)
Dad: So, you wanna get some hookers and blow?
Me: Seriously, Dad?
Dad: Fine... how about some pot? Do you know anyone? Or shrooms, 'cause that'll be cool too. Or both... at the same time!
The One and Only Jeopardy Contestant to Truly Understand ...
And That's Why You Don't Kick a Man While He's Down
Friday Afternoons Can Be Really Tough at Work
It Seemed Like Just Another College Snapchat Story, Then ...
An Alternative Method
Why Don't These 8 Objects Exist in The Real World?
A BART Employee Reaches New Levels of Laziness
Some Kids Are Evil Geniuses
Photobombing Like a Wrecking Ball
Pick Your Site Name
Tell me more