Remember kids, drugs and alcohol are bad, m'kay?
(My mom had just gone into the freezer for the 5th time in the last hour to get a cup of ice.)
Dad: Hey! If you keep doing that, you'll get addicted to the ice. From there, you'll move on to snow... Then you'll hit the hard stuff, like sleet.
Me: And hail after that?
Dad: Oh god... let's not go down that road...
(My mom, while looking at the price of caviar this year.)
Mom: WHAT?! you can get COCAINE cheaper than this!
Dad: I did alot of crazy things when I was a kid.
Me: Like what?
Dad: Well once I did a whole bunch of cocaine and threw a TV through a ten story window. Good thing you only do pot.
Me: I... I got nothin'...
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