(After watching an ad against drunk driving)
Dad: Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly!
Mom: Yeah, that's a good lesson to teach your sixteen year old daughter.
Dad: It's true! Don't make me throw my coffee mug at you.
Clearly we are dealing with some high-quality journalism here.
(My mom, while looking at the price of caviar this year.)
Mom: WHAT?! you can get COCAINE cheaper than this!
Dad: I did alot of crazy things when I was a kid.
Me: Like what?
Dad: Well once I did a whole bunch of cocaine and threw a TV through a ten story window. Good thing you only do pot.
Me: I... I got nothin'...
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