(Me brushing my teeth)
(Gargling, Dad walks in holds my nose and says)
Me: (Spits everything on him)
Dad: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT! EVERYONE SWALLOWS IN THIS HOUSE!
Mom: That's right dear.
Me (7 Year old): Mom, what if aliens landed in the back yard, ate all our food, and left?
Dad: Sounds like our relatives.
Mom: (Glares at dad)
(A while ago, when I was a young child.)
Me: What's plastic surgery?
Dad: It's when they take out your lungs and dip them in corn syrup.
Mom: What's that lump on your neck son? (after noticing a weird lump on my brother's neck)
Dad: Isn't that his head?
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