Kat's Dad Just Needs Probable Cause

Favorite
Dad: If you want to date, date somebody who's going to harass you, so I'll at least have an excuse when the police bring me into custody.
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R-honda's Mom Has to Rub it in...

Favorite
(When talking to my mom about my absent father.) Mom: You know the difference between you and me? Me: What Mom: My daddy loved me. Me: T-T Mom: *laughing hysterically*
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Love is Just a Santoku Away

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(Talking about my mum's partner.) Sister: But you do love each other, I know that. Mum: It's a fine line between love and hate and the cutlery drawer. Sister: You're never too old to- Mum: To stab someone? No.
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urabi91's Mom Won't Be Able to Find that In Stock ANYWHERE By Now

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Mom: I wonder what I can get your Dad for Christmas. Me(being silly): Your Mother! Mom: He doesn't want THAT.
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Oh Mom, So Full of Lies

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Mom: Don't sleep with anyone. Me: I know, I know. Mom: No, I'm serious, they don't look that good naked. God didn't do a very good job when he put them together.
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