Kitty's aim might be a little off...
Clearly somebody is very familiar with the art.
Me: Mum, can I use the tuna in the fridge?
Dad: What are you going to use it for?
Me: (sarcastically) I'm going to smear it on my genitals.
Dad: Mind the cat, that's the kind of pussy you don't want
(*Me, texting my Dad*)
Me: So can I keep the cat inside the house?
Dad: I'll have to ask the Magic Conch.
(Meow from outside door)
Mom: I hear a kitty!
Mom: Wait, where's the kitty? Was there ever a kitty? Am I on drugs?
(My dad, the night before I'm set to leave for a week-long field trip with my school):
When you're gone, I'm going to dance with the cat. And we're going to dance to Lady Gaga, because I was born this way.
Cuando el autocorrector te juega una mala pasada
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I AHM DEH WUHN WEENGED AINJEL!!!
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