(Driving down the road nice and smoothly with my dad. Soon traffic hits and we come to an almost stop.)
Dad: What are we stopped for? A sex toy party?
Dad: I brake for edible underwear!
Me: Dad, your car is falling apart, you should really look at getting it fixed.
Dad: It's not falling apart, it has CHARACTER.
(*Dad goes to open car door, it falls off*)
Dad: (*Guilty look over shoulder*) Character?
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