(Driving down the road nice and smoothly with my dad. Soon traffic hits and we come to an almost stop.) Dad: What are we stopped for? A sex toy party? Me: Wha...? Dad: I brake for edible underwear!

Me: Dad, your car is falling apart, you should really look at getting it fixed. Dad: It's not falling apart, it has CHARACTER. (*Dad goes to open car door, it falls off*) Dad: (*Guilty look over shoulder*) Character?