My sister, offering whipped cream off of a sundae: Does anybody want this?
Mom: You don't like whipped cream?
Mom: There goes your sex life.
(To my 3 year old niece who is pretending to be a baby doll's mother)
Me: Josie, did that baby come from your belly?
(Josie looks at me as if I were the dumbest girl on Earth.)
Josie: No, it came from my uterus!
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