"Rule number 376, kid: always stare directly at the wall in front of you."
(after a nasty bout of meds left me on the toilet for far too long)
Mom: It's exfoliating your colon!
Self Poortraits, keeping us all entertained since social media made us even more vapid than before.
(My mom walks in to my room as I'm pulling my pants up from masturbating.)
Mom: What were you doing.
Me: Uh... Nothing
Mom: OK, just a tip, next time, do "nothing" in the bathroom.
(Dad's in the bathroom)
Dad: Come in here and look what I did in the toilet!
Me: No, I think I'll pass.
Dad: Come on, if I just tell you you'll never believe me.
Dad: COME NOW OR YOU'RE GROUNDED!
(I go to bathroom.)
Dad: I shot a fly into the toilet with my pee stream.
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