(Wondering why my sisters and my birthdays are all in January and February, expecting an aniversary or birthday.)
Me: What's nine months before January?
Mom: Baseball season
Mom: It's the only time I drink beer
Aunt: I turn around and my sister has her hand down her shirt, my neice is holding a ghost and my husband is singing "Sixteen Candles" while jamming a Power Ranger into a chocolate cake. Where's my drink?
(Little brother picks up mom's wine glass from the counter):
Uncle Ralph: DON'T DRINK THAT! (Takes it away.)
Me: Good job!
Uncle Ralph: (Returns with can of beer) This is a MAN'S drink! Chug it!
The Most Clever Graduation Caps From the Class of 2015
The Weasley Twins Could Have Been the Heroes of the Harry ...
Of Course Nine Cats Would Love All These Boxes
Arya's Game of Faces Fools One Probably Near-Sighted Fan
JK Rowling Supports Irish Gay Marriage, Slams Westboro Baptist ...
There's Probably No Better Reaction to Flipping Your Vehicle ...
Ever Been so Oblivious You Didn't Realize You Were Being ...
Watch Luigi Win Against Level 9 CPUs... by Doing Absolutely ...
Drew Really Wants to Give You an Ass Kicking
What Could Be Better Than Tiny Goats In a Sweater?
Pick Your Site Name
Tell us more about it