Me (7 Year old): Mom, what if aliens landed in the back yard, ate all our food, and left?
Dad: Sounds like our relatives.
Mom: (Glares at dad)
Mom: OK: No drugs, no alcohol, no sex and no boys.
Dad: Basically we want you to have a sh**ty time.
(On the phone.)
Me: Could you post me one of my old school shirts? I'm putting together a Hogwarts costume.
Mum: What for?
Me: A Harry Potter night at the student union.
Mum: You should go as a wand!
Aunt: I turn around and my sister has her hand down her shirt, my neice is holding a ghost and my husband is singing "Sixteen Candles" while jamming a Power Ranger into a chocolate cake. Where's my drink?
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