(On the phone.)
Me: Could you post me one of my old school shirts? I'm putting together a Hogwarts costume.
Mum: What for?
Me: A Harry Potter night at the student union.
Mum: You should go as a wand!
... I always get the coolest weapon!
Mom: OK: No drugs, no alcohol, no sex and no boys.
Dad: Basically we want you to have a sh**ty time.
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