Dad: If you want to date, date somebody who's going to harass you, so I'll at least have an excuse when the police bring me into custody.
(Dad got a deer this season and is processing it himself).
Me: Ugh... There's body parts all inside the freezer.
Mom: People are going to think we're John Wayne Gacy.
Me: Didn't he have sex with the bodies first?
Mom: You weren't there.
(My dad coming in, seeing I'm on facebook instead of doing my math homework.)
Dad: If you don't start doing your math, you'll turn into a zombie. *leaves*
Me: What just happened?
Mom: OK: No drugs, no alcohol, no sex and no boys.
Dad: Basically we want you to have a sh**ty time.
All Youtubers Can Learn a Lesson From This Guy
Dorkly Tackles Disney Sex Scenes in a Way You'll Wish You'd ...
Batman v Superman Teaser Gets Animated Like The 90's Series
Of Course People Are Putting Their Apple Watches on Cats...
This Texas Lawmaker Probably Should Have Cut the Mic Before ...
There's An Overload of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 News ...
The Evolution Argument
Women Get Their Legs Stretched Open on the Newest Weird Japanese ...
Deadpool and Deadpool Fight to The Death
Pick Your Site Name
Tell me more