The Most Painful Rendition of the Star-Spangled Banner Ever

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From a recent Dallas-Los Angeles Major League Soccer match.

Look, we know she's 11, and we also know that people who pick on children online are contemptible bullies with major insecurities about their sexual organs, etc. etc. But a performance this egregious can be a learning opportunity not only for whoever billed her to open the game, but also for her, that she's not (and shouldn't want to be) Christina Aguilera.

Born 2 Twerk

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Born 2 Twerk
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Talk to YOUR child about dropping it today.

So Is My Cat

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So Is My Cat
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I was best at playing "Brrroooiiiiiiiing Broooooiiiiiing Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrroiiiiinggggggg." That song was my favorite.

One-Year-Old Proves That Rhythm Is Something You're Born With

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...because there's NO WAY I could play a steady beat with a year of practice, let alone a year of living.