Teenage Girl Youtube Comments: The Neo-Noir Edition

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In the pink corner, we have commenter 'Sophie Danze,' proud Directioner.

In the... also pink corner, we have commenter 'Jilianlovesthebeibs.' Proud Directioner and Belieber.

Dead Parrot took their Youtube comment slapfight in the comments section One Direction's "What Makes You Beautiful" and turned it into the dark, gritty mafioso drama script it was always meant to be.

A Boy Band Gone Wrong

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boy band,mutants,one direction,pop,wtf
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For all the crazed adulation they're getting from the fangirls (the "directioners"), it stands to reason that one of them is a mutant bee in disguise, secreting pheromones on behalf of the others. My money's on the guy with the improbably sculpted hair.

One Direction Starts Batting for the Other Team

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girls,one direction,toy,toys
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When you've captured 50 percent of the youth market (girls), what else is there to do but shoot for the other 50 percent?