What Slayer Will Demand If They Play at Your Festival

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What Slayer Will Demand If They Play at Your Festival
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This was allegedly sent to the producers of the FunFunFun Fest in Austin, where Slayer played earlier this year, and dear god we hope it's real. Because as great as Slayer is, knowing that they order "hand sanitizer" AND "hand satanizer" makes them ten times as great.

"AMAZING"

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"AMAZING"
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Concerts are fun until you're too old and crotchety to tolerate things like getting someone else's urine on your shirt.

Kurt Cobain Would Have Turned 45 Today

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It's also George Washington's birthday, but he was a better president than singer. Wooden teeth are terrible for your voice.