If It Wasn't Made in the '60s or Last Week, I'm Not Interested

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If It Wasn't Made in the '60s or Last Week, I'm Not Interested
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After their moment of popularity, many bands spend an indeterminate amount of time in music purgatory before they become retro and cool again. While in purgatory, legions of 12-year-olds scoff at them cruelly.

The Conspiracy Pulling the Music Critics' Strings

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The Conspiracy Pulling the Music Critics' Strings
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So THAT'S why Pitchfork keeps giving Animal Collective better reviews than Jesus! It's a plot by the military-industrial complex!

Why Can't I Put My Fist Down?

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Why Can't I Put My Fist Down?
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Seriously, if I don't put my fist down soon, people will think I'm trying to join the Black Panthers.