In case you missed it last night or everywhere else around the interwebs today, Obama totally did a sexy slow jam with Jimmy Fallon and the Roots on Late Night. He's definitely earned the smooth pickup artist vote.
That's right! Is your loved one complaining you spend too much time butchering the innocent in the carrion-strewn hellpits across town? Are you having trouble finding someone who shares your dread loathing of the puny wretches who people the earth? Gwar will relieve you from the festering stink of existential rot!