My dad works at an airline in reservations. A lady calls from the airport because her flight got canceled. In the background, you can hear her 4 year old son being loud and obnoxious. This embarrasses the woman who then tells her child, "If you don't calm down and stay over here, I'm never taking you on an airplane again!" to which the kid replies, "HORSE S**T!" #LFSomeLady'sF
Do NOT think of Fullmetal Alchemist while drinking fruit punch. Everyone will stare at you for making strange faces. Father may be pretty emotionless, but that doesn't mean you are. #LFMF
When your boyfriend leans in to kiss you, misses and kisses your nose, it's kinda awkward. Don't laugh(at least not until he leaves), or tell his or your bestfriend about it. It just makes things more awkward. #LFMF
(My mom, cousins, and me eating)
Mom: Can you pass the mustard?
Me: I can, but will I?
Mom: Dammit Nick, you're like herpes. You aren't there all the time, but when you are you are painful as hell.
(Everybody laughs) #LFM-not-really-a-F
I looked up the word "Woman" on Urban Dictionary. All faith in humanity has been lost. #LFMF
Before sexy times, make sure your pants are off. Zippers are no fun. #LFMF
Bad idea: confusing $8,90 for $9,80 when paying the bill in a restaurant.
- Worse idea: saying in front of the waiter that the generous tip was a mistake on your part.
- Terrible idea: requiring the waiter to return you the difference.
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