Went to bring my 50 something parents some medicine at 1:06am, door was unlocked barged in eyes open. Traumatized, lesson learned, knock even if you think your old parents are asleep & not sexually active. #LFMF
If you're having sex for the first time, just don't do what I did. #LFMF
When planning Roman-Patrician-and-slave themed sexual roleplay with your husband, make sure your teenage daughter and her friends are out. The ensuing situation can be awkward to say the least. #LFMF
In German, the only meaning of 'to sleep with so.' means to have sex with someone. Remember this before you ask your teacher if you can announce 'with who you'd like to sleep' in the hostel, right in front of your classmates... #LFMF
Telling your girlfriend you like having sex with the lights on is okay; telling her afterwards that her O-face is hilarious is not. #LFMyboyfriendsF
For the love of everything holy, if you are having sex with your boyfriend whose mother is very strict, don't get caught! Especially if said strict mother is also your boss. #LFMF
When you've had a bad day, drugs are not the answer. Alcohol is not the answer. Sex is not the answer. You know what they didn't tell you? Sleeping away the entire afternoon before a major test is ALSO not the answer. #LFMF
"No seriously dude, I totally slept all day yesterday and didn't study, so I don't know!"