There's a Hair In My Gum

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Chewing gum and oral sex do NOT mix!
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Metal on Metal

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If you have lip or tounge peircings, no matter how sexy it seems, DO NOT UNZIP YOUR BOYFRIEND'S JEANS WITH YOUR TEETH!!!!! #LFMF
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The Boyfriend Is the One to Feel Sorry For, Too

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When your mouth is so small that a tablespoon can't fit through it, don't say it in front of your boyfriend's friends. Unless you want blowjob jokes 24/7. #LFMF
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Om Nom Nom

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Correct: I could beat him in an eating contest if it were set up like a drinking game. Incorrect: I could eat him under the table. #LFMF
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That's Not What It's Supposed to Taste Like

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Guys don't wipe after they pee. Keep this in mind the next time you want to give your boyfriend a surprise bj shortly after he's been to the bathroom. #LFMF
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Must. Unclench. Jaw.

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Never accept oral sex from someone with an untreated seizure disorder. #LFMF
Tags
By Unknown
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I've Got Your Lozenge Right Here

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If your throat is dry, do not walk into a room that happens to be full of men and ask if anyone has anything you can suck on. You should also not try to back peddle out of it with, "I meant something hard." #LFMF
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