If you are bored at home alone, never think it would be a good idea to shave every last hair from your body. You will itch like a mofo for ages after. #LFMF
Never go to the washroom after eating raw cayenne peppers before an important meeting; unless you like trying to scratch down there like a ninja. #LFMF
Just having my usual pre-meeting cayenne pepper snack!
Correct: 'This new beanie is surprisingly not even itchy on my forehead skin' Incorrect: Shortening that sentence to 'This beanie is surprisingly not even itchy on my foreskin'
Especially if you're a girl. #LFMF
I don't care how much you're itching, ALWAYS read the bottle before you take allergy medicine. If you don't, you'll take two 24 hour doses and sleep for 48 hours.
While taking a bath resist the urge to scratch your itchy knees with a pumice stone. You will relieve the itch but live with the worst rug burn you've ever had for a week.
No matter how bad an itch you have. Never tell your girlfriend that scratching is better than sex. You'll be scratching all by yourself for a couple of weeks. #LFMF
If you have an article of clothing that becomes covered in fiberglass insulation, do not wash said article of clothing with your underwear.
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