When your coworker hands you a funny little fruit and tells you it's good, research the country she hails from first. She might be handing you what's called a "durian" fruit, and you might just spend the next 2 hours trying desperately to not throw up. Moldy sweat socks with a side of musty swiss cheese all combined with a sweet, rotten onion flavor. #LFMF (2 years and I still haven't forgiven her!)
When working in a woodshop and sanding things, always keep tabs on where your fingers are. The day you don't wear obnoxious nail polish is the day you sand away most of your thumbnail. And you won't notice for a good 5 minutes. #LFML
You have band practice in nine hours and you've been up until the wee hours of the morning. Failblog will still be there after practice lets out. #LFMF
Don't put your finger with a torn off cuticle down in a closed container filled with wet dishwashing salt! #LFMF
If you weaned yourself off of caffine 3 years ago, and have had none since, ignore the craving you may get when you have a cold and are feeling run-down. If you can't resist, DON'T drink a whole 2 litres of Coke. You will not feel better - you will feel like your head is no longer attached to your body. My eyes are vibrating! #LFMF
If your parents are nice enough to offer to pick up that game you reserved in GameStop, for fuck's sake give them the right address. You might end up sending them to the wrong GameStop and not only that, by the time you tell them that it's the wrong store, it's past 7 pm (GameStop closing time). When they return, they will be pissed off. You will feel ashamed and guilty. And you will not be getting that game for another week. #LFMF
When you're checking out mummy rabbit and her brand new litter of six adorable baby bunnies, be careful how you replace the heavy wooden nesting box. Now you have five adorable baby bunnies, and a whole mess of crying children.
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