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From CBS Los Angeles:

A 35-year-old woman who tried to climb down the chimney of her estranged boyfriend's Woodcrest home early Saturday morning had to be rescued after getting stuck, according to the Riverside County Fire Department.

Homeowner Tony Hernandez said the woman, the mother of his three children, had tried around 5 a.m. to open the door of his home in the 15800 block of Rancho Viejo Drive. When she found it locked she climbed to the roof and attempted to get in through the chimney. That's when she became wedged inside the 12-by-12-inch chimney. She had apparently removed her clothes to aid her descent.

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In case you didn't quite catch that, or wanted the TL;DR, via Uproxx:

The dog shelters, there are three in a row in the next town. So I went there one time, seeing what dogs they had . . . Well, it was about 95% pit bulls, or pit bull mixes. Now, I know this is gonna get somebody angry, but I think they should all be put down. First of all, they were taking up space and nobody was going to adopt them. That's why they were all there, people were getting rid of them. So, all this money — and I spoke to the ladies there — all this money is going to feed pit bulls. You know, it's like, I don't feel like giving money. (laughs)

People are grinding out pit bulls and dumping them. And I remember when I was younger you could go to one of these places and find any kind of dog. So, that was kind of annoying. Don't walk around with a pit bull, nobody will talk to you. Uh, unless it's somebody else with a pit bull and then the two of them, I don't know — what, will they fight? I don't know. I think that's illegal.
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Via: Philly
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It only gets worse from there. From Philly:

A security guard told him to wait on a nearby bench, and Higgs apparently thought it was the perfect chance for a smoke break.

But he wasn't packing tobacco.

When the officer Higgs so desperately wanted to see came out, he smelled the marijuana immediately and took Higgs into custody.

And then the show began.

Higgs disrobed, while still babbling, and relieved his bowels on the floor of his holding cell, Chitwood said. Then, as if struck by artistic inspiration, Higgs grabbed his own feces and "wiped it all over the walls," he said.
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