probably-bad-news

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I'm no legal expert, but something tells me this isn't exactly a great move for your case. From Arbroath:

Charles Abbott arrived at court in Aspen, Colorado, on Tuesday with a stuffed owl and placed it on the defence table in front of him. “He’s a very sensitive guy, has law degrees from Yale, Harvard and Stanford,” Abbott told Pitkin County Court Judge Erin Fernandez-Ely. “I think he’ll be able to represent me before a public defender comes online.” But the fluffy horned owl that Abbott called “Solomon,” had no influence on the hearing’s outcome. Fernandez-Ely casually ignored its presence when Abbott introduced it, and she moved along with the court’s business. Abbott’s court appearance was to address a protection order that took effect after he was accused of assaulting his former roommate, Michael Stranahan, at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting on May 9. Authorities again arrested Abbott, 67, on Saturday on suspicion of violating the court order by going to Stranahan’s home to collect some belongings.
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As many have been quick to point out, the color of this birthday-destroying dookie indicates that it was maybe even human - perhaps from a passing plane. Either way, the cake suddenly seems a little less appealing now.

dude parts,Probably bad News,news,fail nation
Via: Mirror
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According to Lan Tien, "It was hot so I was painting the wall in the nude, and I slipped on the floor causing my private parts to fall inside the pipe that was protruding from the wall to take water outside from the air conditioning unit. Unfortunately, I got stuck as a result." One might use this as a teaching moment to talk about the safety of one's tally-whacker in the open air, but all we're left wondering is just HOW your jingle-jank can "fall" into an open pipe.

These are the mysteries of life, people.

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