Via Huffington Post:
A 15-year-old boy at a high school in Staten Island, New York received eight stitches after a 17-year-old girl allegedly beat him with a metal stool. The row between the students exploded Monday after the girl accused the boy of farting on her, New York Magazine's Daily Intelligencer reported.
Apparently, after waiting in line in front of a careless mother and her screaming small child, a man who was having a bad day (and had a headache) decided to ruin that family's day: The child was screaming "I want f**king pie!" so the man bought up every last pie — all 23 of them — and walked out of the Burger King location, turning only to see the enraged mother and child, helpless as the cashier told them that the restaurant had just sold out of pie.
Now if this doesn't warm your heart, I don't know what will.