Criminally Dumb Criminal

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Via: Jezebel
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From Jezebel:

"I have drugs inside my v@gina," Crosby uttered spontaneously and then, when she was asked to remove them, she said "ouch." Again, that sounds really painful. The officer asked if she was okay and Crosby said "the foil is hurting the inside of my v@gina" before producing a foil-wrapped rock of crack c0caine which she had just been paid $100 for.
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Via: The Smoking Gun
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From the Smoking Gun:

A trio of teenage burglars who stole cash, jewelry, electronics, and prescription drugs from a Missouri residence also thought they got away with a stash of c0caine they found in a wooden box, only to later discover that the powder was actually the cremated remains of the homeowner’s father, police report.

Upon determining that they were not, in fact, in possession of c0caine, the teens discarded the remains out the window of their getaway car. One of the burglars actually tasted the powder and realized it was not a controlled substance. 
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