Via: ABC News
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The poor fella needed protection from the protection he so adamantly, and somehow recklessly tried to acquire.

ABC News reports the 29-year-old man and a couple his buddies planned to steal the condoms by blowing the rubbers vending machine to smithereens.

Amidst the explosion the three fools took shelter in a car nearby, but the victim failed to close his door, and took a fatal shot to the noggin from a flying piece of metal.

Via: CBS Miami
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Brought to you fresh and fried out of Lecanto, Florida, The Citrus County Sheriff's Office arrested a woman on shoplifting and drug paraphernalia charges. She was apprehended amidst a shopping cart fueled joyride out of hell.

The woman's been identified as Josseleen Elida Lopez, 25. Lopez was held after scarfing down $32.36 worth of food and wine. She told the authorities she's homeless.

If you're going to hit rock bottom, at least eat some chicken, and wash it down with some wine right? In all seriousness we wish Lopez the best on her road to recovery. Deputies disclosed to the press that they found two empty syringes after arresting Lopez, which she claims she used to inject crystal meth.

Via: Buzzfeed
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The original photos received with disapproval from Mr. Pugh:

Just cause you're on the run, doesn't mean you stop caring about the looks--good and bad.

"This photo was sent to us by Mr Pugh himself," Lima Police Department wrote in a post.

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"Man, they just did me wrong," Mr Pugh disclosed while on an Ohio radio station about why he sent the selfie in the first place.

"They put a picture out that made me look like I was a Thundercat... or James Brown on the run. I can't do that.

Fans of this madness even banded together to pitch their efforts together, and start up a Facebook page for Pugh.

Fail of The Day: Dynamic Duo Steals Jewelry From Art Gallery, Leaves Name And Number in Guest Book
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Stupid is not a strong enough word to describe these alleged jewelry thieves.

Police say a man and woman were arrested this weekend in Palm Springs after stealing a bracelet and ring from an art studio. And how were they caught?

They signed the guest book.

Megan Ohara, 24, and David Ziskoski, 19, were arrested for allegedly stealing the jewelry, which was valued at $6,000.

Here's how it went down, according to the Sun Sentinel:

When confronted, Ohara told police she had the items in her purse. She gave the officers the ring and bracelet, and subsequently, she and Ziskoski were arrested.

As officers arrived back to the gallery, the artist said he had noticed something in his gallery's guestbook. Someone had written multiple fake email entries into the guestbook, including "," according to the arrest report.

Two of the fake emails included the name "Meg" and one included Ohara's phone number next to it. Also on the page was a drawing of male genitalia and a woman's face labeled as "Meg."

Someone get these two a Darwin Award, stat!

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