alcohol

Via: Toni Pomeroy
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The Gilliam family ordered cranberry juice for their toddler Gabriela, but when she took a sip they immediately noticed something was wrong. Taking a drink from her child's cup themselves, they discovered it was actually sangria (the preferred drink of college lit majors looking to forget that they need to read Joyce for Wednesday's class).

After several trips to local doctors and monitoring Gabriela's sleep patterns she's totally fine, but not after a tiny toddler bender ("She was kissing everything"). 

Hopefully she won't experience that kind of feeling again until college. Or at least late high school, who are we kidding.

Via: Jozivan Antero
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The local fire department in Patos, Paraiba, Brazil were called to a bar Feb. 5 with a report of an aggressive monkey with a kitchen knife chasing men.

Lt. Col. Saul Laurentino of the Fire department said the monkey drank a glass of rum at the bar before picking up the knife and chasing after men, leaving the women alone.

"It was a bar staff oversight that ended with the monkey drinking some rum and taking the knife," said Laurentino.

Sounds like some of the bar patrons were just trying to enjoy the simple joys of a monkey knife fight: