From the submitter:
I had a profile picture with me in party dresses at a cookie party with a few friends. Then, I got a message from my FRIEND'S DAD.
Someone should seriously look into those last two actors.
If the immediate greeting of "HI SEXY" and obvious indifference that his conversation partner has barely reached puberty isn't enough, the popped collar and grimacing half-smile puts him squarely into the creeper record books.