Either You're With Bacon, or You're With Satan

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By Unknown
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Alternative title: Either you're with bacon, or you're with seitan. Vegetarians and vegans will get this joke.

If Little Wafers of Bread Are the Body of Jesus, Then Chocolate Chip Cookies Are the Body of God

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Worried, Christians? Here's a solution! During communion, serve chocolate chip cookies instead of those bland wafers! That idea was free, Benedict-and-other-religious-leaders, but there's plenty more where it came from. You know where to find me.