Simple Directions, Complex Item

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Simple Directions, Complex Item
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From the submitter:

"A wishing candle is a paper balloon with a wax block you light, it goes up, and voila. You make a wish for a deceased loved one.(hot air balloon but much smaller scale) we read the instructions, but we couldn't get past number 1. Maybe if I pick option 'open'."

The right explanation is the most obvious.

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The right explanation is the most obvious.
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NOTICE-PUBLIC BAR Our public bar is presently not open because it is closed. MANAGER

Take Pride in Your Misdemeanors!

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Take Pride in Your Misdemeanors!
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Also, please do not use in alien environments such as Mars, Omicron-6, or that mothership from Independence Day.